dear asian youth,
when i reminisce about my childhood
old film photographs
grainy video recordings
i should be able to look upon my memories
with nostalgia, fondness, happiness
like looking through a snowglobe where
time stands still
yet, when i think back to the days where i’d play outside with my friends from noon till dawn
i can only remember my mother and father saying, “you’re so dark.”
“you need to stop going out in the sun, or you’ll be black!”
“keep your skin fair, so people will think you’re beautiful and not dirty”
i wondered for years why my mother slathered sunscreen onto my golden skin
even though i had already applied some minutes before
i pondered for years why my parents snickered when i came home with skin tarnished by the sun
now, i realize it was because of the rays that tickled my melanocytes
had triggered the oh-so-terrible melanin that dirtied my skin
it was only recently that i found the words to describe what this was
this irrational fear of the dark
colorism
i grew up in a colorist household
but i’ve learned that it’s quite meaningless to be scared of such things
go out and bask in the warm embrace of the sun
appreciate the hue your skin radiates – black, tan, fair or light
you are not tarnished
you are sunkissed.
- Julianne T.
Cover Photo Source: https://www.vogue.com/article/makeup-skin-care-post-fenty-beauty-inclusivity