The Hyphen.
Merriam Webster defines a hyphen as, “a punctuation mark - used especially to divide or to compound words, word elements, or numbers; a punctuation mark used to divide or compound words; divide or compound words.”
This short little line - to divide or compound words has been the definition of my identity. It is the definition of my struggles to discover who I am, where I belong, and where I am meant to be.
I am Chinese-American, Chinese, hyphen, American.
I am Asian-American, Asian, hyphen, American.
That little line divides my identity, compounds my identity.
It divides my identity when I am called a banana at school
When I am not Asian enough for the Asians, but not white enough for the “Americans”
It divides my identity at family dinners
When I see my elders converse in Chinese, but see my cousins unable to use chopsticks.
It divides my identity when I travel
When I am asked, “How do I speak English so well?” like my face says I shouldn’t.
It makes me long for a place I never grew up or lived in, while I feel alienated in the place I was born.
I am Chinese-American, Chinese, hyphen, American.
I am Asian-American, Asian, hyphen, American.
That little line divides my identity; compounds my identity.
It compounds my identity when I visit Chinatown with my grandparents
When I can feel at home among the open-air stores and bakeries.
It compounds my identity when I go to school
And I can speak proudly of my heritage and history.
It compounds my identity when I speak and write
Reminding me how far my family has come to live in this country.
I am Chinese-American.
I am Asian-American.
The Hyphen holds together a history of two cultures, two societies, two identities.
Yet I am one person.
Like the Hyphen, I am a little line that holds two words of great meaning together.
I am the Hyphen. I am a connector, compounder, and divider.
Cover Photo Source: The Daily Trojan