Dear Asian Youth,
gifted and talented
bright-eyed babe,
you twirl your pencil in your hands
you seek sun and scraped knees
you talk too loud in class,
in the best sense
your words make a dry mouth
a thirst to know more
To be more
they teach you to aspire, among the stacks of books you drink
and the letters you weave together, among your countless calculations
and world-weary abacus. How funny it looks,
contrasted against your young hands
ah, your hands,
they shall hold them, tiny palms encircled, and tell you you are destined for greater things
and suddenly it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter how loud you talk,
how bright your eyes shine,
Good children are quiet
They are well-behaved
They know
They see
They think,
minds whirring unlike any other
take the world in and apart with your mental
processes
there’s no need to talk,
there is only knowing.
No need to question or feel or yearn or decry
that is simply how it is
and suddenly, you are the perfect child
you are neat grades and clean shoes
you are a pleasure to have in class
you are gifted and talented
You are the child your parents dreamed of
when they came here, miles away
the child of opportunity
the one seizing the better, fabled life
the truest American lie, for you work twice as hard as any other
and it still isn’t enough.
Will it ever be?
Even as your hands tremble with fear, unable to bring pencil to paper
even as you pin your worth on a single test
They can still hold you close and tell you, over and over
You are enough
You did your best
But you tell yourself, yes
I did my best
I did the best I could
I tried and if this is my best,
it still isn’t enough...is it?
I’m still not enough, am I?
funnily enough, I have no special talents
I am not gifted
I hold calluses in my hand, heavy and red
these are marks of work
For I can at least admit to diligence
Things that put up what I wanted to be
I want to make you proud, I cry,
heavy heart buried in the soil from
my homeland
Am I really doing the best I can?
foundations can crumble so easily
when built on unstable terrain
I never had the constitution to love myself so fully
It seems like the truest feat of strength at this point
It seems like the truest mark of genius
full confidence to question
to yearn
To speak
to learn, all until that familiar thirst outweighs everything else
Until all that is left is the endless dialogue between you and the universe, who echoes your calls the deeper you dig and the louder you shout
Gifted and talented, they say,
but you are like any other.
You are as aimless as the skies,
For who needs an explanation to exist?
Certainly not the universe,
Certainly not you,
Fret not, child
You are made of stardust and moon rock and soil
You are your origin and your future in one
You are like everyone else
and it should not be any other way,
For what is more splendid than being part of this vast expanse of space
These conversations over and over again
These queries
These acts of love told through the tongues of formulas and numbers
You will inhale, calm collected
Miles away from classrooms and textbooks
These are the greater things they spoke of
The humble everything, for pursuit
of knowledge is its own act of love
And you are truly gifted with a heart that yearns for more,
Something even greater than a brilliant mind.
- Billy
Cover Photo Source: Dribbble.com