Yellow

Dear Asian Youth,

It’s six letters with a double L

Ballet, allure, pollen, hollow - small

We’re on an outdoor stage

The sunflowers are in full bloom

My skin tone doesn’t match the slippers

Light places a sandpaper kiss against my lips

Yellow confetti’s strung around my hips like a choker:

A forgotten afternoon or purposefully left-behind heirloom

It’s the name of a Coldplay song

The first time I heard “Yellow” in Chinese, I played it on repeat

I wanted to dance, but - by then - I’d stopped tapping my feet

It’s not the stars that make the night sky complete

Yellow is the soft, incandescent flicker of light bulbs and neon signs

They light up Chinatown at 11PM while store owners sigh

Mud-stained streets

Beneath them: dark, dirty feet

Yellow is liminal space and not being seen

It’s knowing you’ll never be clean

Yellow is feeling small and not having space

Yellow is not feeling safe

Yellow is heartache and drowning in ocean waves

It’s shaking when you hear a gunshot and wondering what will be left in your wake

Asian Girl, will you leave behind memories? Or just dreamscapes and a splash of paint?