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unsure, unshaken faith



Our Father, who art in heaven,

they told me You are the eternal remedy

they said You perform miracles

can You show me?

i’ve been a good catholic

or i’ve tried

i’ve battled my logic

i’ve confessed my sins

i’ve begged and begged for dominion at Your feet

until my tired knees gave out

and i collapsed with clasped hands

like a desperate fool

but i am not a fool, right?

according to them, i can’t be;

the Bible is more than a fantastic piece of literature,

they told me

the gospel does bear all objective truth,

they assured

but it doesn’t matter– i’ve tried but

the tempest prolongs as if

the Word of God is just words and nothing more.

auntie says

You’d have mercy if i stayed attentive during mass,

frequented faith formation,

and prayed before every meal.

i ask

what if the french never came,

we never suffered imperialism,

and this religion never reached vietnam?

she responds with nothing, then says that

You were meant to find us but

sometimes i wonder if You have lost me.

Amen; i mean,

i shall not bear false witness, and so i swear

i haven’t given up, but

in righteousness this faith is

unsure yet unshaken hence

i return to Your house this Sabbath–

Lord, i promise, i believe in You

or i’m trying

so vindicate me

show me salvation

pacify this internal crusade

cease the weeping and the gnashing of teeth,

and deliver me from evil.


Amen.


Editors: Chris F., Marie H., Nicole O., Nadine R.

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