The White Court
Updated: Apr 2
Dear Asian Youth,
when i was ten
i learned
how to
swallow myself
“Asians eat dogs.” I blink, confused. The statement doesn’t necessarily bother me. It seemed to make people laugh, in fact. I heard the lilting, teasing cadence of their voices, the giggles that graced their undertones. Surely, they meant no harm, right? Who was I to be someone that ruined that kind of laughter? Nobody likes a person who takes things too seriously, so I laugh through my too-thin glasses and choppy hair. I wring my hands and laugh, belly full of dread. “Yeah, they do.” I tuck away my tupperware, the scent of last night’s chorizo still hanging in the air.
i learned
that i cared
too much
tried
too hard
i wonder
what that means, i
tried to scrub
my skin clean
of dirt