Goodnight, Dragon Lady
Updated: 7 days ago
you meet him online, and he gives off no red flags yet
you’re an asian girl scared of being fetishized by a white boy with yellow fever
he seems nice, friendly; you like the same movies, you have mutual friends
you trust him completely, naively
you smile as you accept his request, not thinking too much of it.
he compares you to his favorite characters,
mai from avatar? you think that you look nothing like her
he looks like a character with brown hair and eyes, one who actually acts like him too
but you get into an argument, he’s mad that you compared him to a cartoon character
isn’t that what you did when you said i was like mai? you say sorry anyways
he does not.
he tells you that something about you just reminds him of her
is it the black roots of your hair peeking out under the dye? no, it must be the personality, no
it’s just because you’re asian isn’t it?
he says it’s not, it’s definitely something else, something he can’t name, and you believe him
you let yourself find comfort in being wanted.
you are so beautiful, he says
why do you dye and curl your black hair? you would be so much prettier with your natural look
start dressing more alternative,
no, not that style where you wear big pants and polos and turtlenecks.
why don’t you wear those schoolgirl skirts and show your skin a little more?
you refuse, and he is disappointed
you could’ve looked like yumeko, or like those asian girls in the pornography he watches
it’s a warning sign, but you ignore it. you’re used to being treated like this now.
it is strange see who he follows on social media
all of the models are asian
they look nothing like you—you have large hips and stretch marks